Thursday, December 23, 2010

Holiday Eating Tips

It is my pleasure to welcome Tracy from "Tracy's Place" as my guest blogger today. Enjoy . . .
Holiday Eating Tips

Because it's the season when the food police co
me out with their wagging fingers here are a few tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later then you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other peoples food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Years, You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa. Position yourself near them, and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over.

A friend sent this to me via email and I just laughed at how tempting it would be to follow all of these rules! Of course, then I'd have to buy a whole new wardrobe. Wait, maybe I will follow these rules! lol

Even if you don't, have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!



Hilcia said...

Sounds like a plan, Dr. J! I will remember your excellent advice.

Wishing you and your wonderful family a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Tam said...

I love fruitcake. That makes me very British I think. LOL Egg nog, not so much, in fact never. Pie however and gravy, I'm all over that. :-)

This commercial says it all. LOL "uh uh, go down your gullet" Makes me laugh out loud every time.

Have a great Christmas.

Sweet Vernal Zephyr said...

LOL - I certainly do have a weakness for Christmas goodies, but why is it no one's taste as good as my own? I must have conceited taste buds. :D

Merry Christmas!

Tracy said...

Thanks for stopping by Hilcia! :)

Tam - I love fruitcake too. I don't know why - can't explain it. It's like the 8th wonder. lol
Adore eggnog, pie and gravy - not all together though!

SWZ - If I actually made Christmas goodies they would be far better than any others...except my mom, of course (I know, nice save, right?) lol

The Romance Girl said...

I think this is an excellent plan! I especially liked #5 and #7. Sounds like a recipe for a good holiday season to me.

Tracy said...

DL - Yes, I like to stand and "protect" the Christmas goodies. Ya know, so they don't get, um, soggy or anything. Yeah, that's it. lol

Tam - OMG that commercial was hilarious! Too funny for a pepto commercial!

Chris said...

It's actually sort of relief to not be able to eat a lot of what's out for holiday parties. :)

Tracy said...

I don't got to any holiday parties so I'm spared but sometimes I could just have a bunch of alcohol laced eggnog and I'd be fine! lol

Marie Sexton said...

My family no longer does Christmas dinner. We do Christmas Brunch, instead. So, no mashed potatoes or gravy. But, if you apply your gravy rule to syrup, it works just as well. :-)

Cecile Smutty Hussy said...

You ladies make me giggle!! You are too much... but sooo true! And I actually started giggling at #1~

I hope you all (all families) have a very blessed merry Christmas!!! Hugs to you all!!!

Tracy said...

Marie - I LOVE brunch and probably would replace dinner with that in a half a heartbeat. However how could I then enjoy my famous sweet potato recipe? Hmmm...something to think about! lol Thanks for the visit!

Cecile - #1 is my favorite too! lol Who needs carrot sticks at Christmas? :)
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas as well, my friend!